THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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