You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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