That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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