does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I FOUND THE LEGS
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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