just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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