I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
