Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
