woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
