Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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