Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
