Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
