i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
