I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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