dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
