i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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