Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
