Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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