Who wears a wallet chain?!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's never too late to be topless.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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