As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
