I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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