I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
