He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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