shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
