My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Randomize
