After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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