Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
