i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Randomize
