I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
