Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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