guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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