I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
