do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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