So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
