I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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