tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
