Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
