Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
