I want to have your abortion
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
