if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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