There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
