Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
