i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
high people should be assigned attendants
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
