I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
