Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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