If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
