have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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