I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
