4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm jealous of your bromance
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
