Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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