He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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