"it" just moved
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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