they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
