How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
